Falling in Love

While watching the bachelor tonight, one of the contestants told Brad (the bachelor) that she had fallen in love with him. Her reasoning for knowing she was in love was that when she came into the competition she was all about herself. As the contest progressed, she had come to realize she was constantly worrying about what Brad was thinking and what he wanted rather then herself. 

Although this contest is obviously not the most ideal situation to be learning about love, I became curious of what peoples definition for "falling in love" was, so of course... I googled it. 

These are some of the things that I found:

• "The process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person, to one of love"
•  "It feels like everything is possible. All the challenge is already beat, and all you wanna do is to be with him"
• "It invigorates you, it puts you in a state of mind where everything around you is a momentary passing. You find yourself wanting and waiting to talk to him. Wanting to see him. And that is when you will see life reward you for all your regrets. Falling in love is a splendor incased in the heart. It's nice, actually it's wonderful."

And my personal favorite definition of love, written by a 4 year old girl named Mary:

• “Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

After all of this grueling research, I came to the greatest conclusion I have ever reached in my 18 years of living, and quite possibly the greatest conclusion I will reach in my life.

I am in love with God.

And not the kind of love that lasts 2 weeks and then goes away. The real kind of love. The kind that fills you up inside with so much emotion you don't know what to do. The kind that completely and totally consumes your mind every minute of the day.

It is more then the love that the girl from the bachelor feels. I have gone from thinking about myself, to thinking about God ALL the time. I wonder what God wants me to do with my life? Rather then, what do I want to do with my life?

It is more then the love that is defined by people on the internet. I find myself "...wanting and waiting to talk to him. Wanting to see him". It is an indescribable feeling, and the fact that I am receiving that love in return makes it a million times better. Even when God is neglected or forgotten, he still accepts you and "licks your face" when the day is over.

Although love is a hard concept to understand, this love was easy to fall into. I find myself happy and excited about little things. I see a bird flying in the sky, and leaves falling from the trees and I just know they are there for our enjoyment. These moments that have been there all along mean so much more. I find myself crying tears of joy at the simple thought of Him and how thankful I am that He is in my life. It is a love that has overwhelmed me and changed my life. It is a love that will never be matched up too, and a feeling that I hope everyone, one day gets to feel. 

I fell in love with an all powerful, everlasting God... and it feels absolutely amazing.

"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me."

Proverbs 8:17

1:00 Brain Mayhem

What exactly does majoring in engineering do to your brain (besides the obvious increase in intelligence)?

It makes you play tetris at 1:00 in the morning. It makes you plan out your every move seconds...minutes...even days before it occurs. It creates a chaos inside of your body that doesn't allow a minute of free time without immediate panic that you should be doing something.

It's a constant motion (never mind whether it is in the x or y direction) that results in a pure bliss. A serene peace in knowing you are accomplishing the biggest dream you could have ever imagined. You are no longer a mere bystander in a world full of creation and chemicals. Everything that goes on around you has changed. Gasoline, rather then being an overpriced liquid that makes your car go, has evolved into a substance full of chemical bonds and intermolecular forces. And that car you drive... it has forces acting on it from every which direction, along with a million different equations to solve for them. And with intelligence comes responsibility. Responsibility to do the 6 hours of homework assigned to you every day; responsibility to say no to that girl in your english class who asks you if you want to go to a party on Friday night.

Relationships change, priorities arise, and your long awaited identity surfaces. Oh, and you blog instead of doing your calculus homework..

In a nutshell, engineering is immensely tumultuous and hectic, however, the end result of having the knowledge to compare this situation with the electronegativity charges in a non-polar molecule, is 100 percent worth it.